Is the LGBTcommunity more of a "melting pot" than larger society?

Um... to answer quickly, that would be a "hell no."

Gays and lesbians, I think, are more separated that larger society. Sad but true.

There's the "black" LGBTQ community and then there is the "white" LGBTQ community. I mean, I see evidence of it everyday. Example: my girlfriend doesn't like the L-Word because they're white lesbians. One time, she and her friends when to this new gay club only to find that it was something "straight out of the L-Word." Example 2: Though there is a thriving "white" (sorry... just being honest... they are not like me... =( sad but true) LGBT community at my school, I really don't associate with any of the lesbians (who by the way seem like really cool people) for the simple fact other than sexual orientation, I have nothing in common with them. They can sit listening to Melissa Etheridge (forgive me if I misspelled) and be happy for an entire day but I like GOSPEL music (lol) which some of them are against (religion, that is)... or maybe I'm just a weird loner... either way, we don't mix.

Granted, the show The L Word could do a little better to be more inclusive of the entire gay community. I mean, not to go off on a tangent or anything but Tasha is not a really good description of a black stud lesbian... sorry. I mean, she's hella sexy and she could get it ANY day but (and let's not forget about Papi's sexy latina ass)... she ain't like other black studs. And going to a gay club on The L Word is not exactly like going to one in Detroit... but still...

I think it's so dumb that the community is so separated. We are already marginalized in society for our sexual orientations, why divide ourselves even more on the basis of race and/or culture? It doesn't make much sense to me...

I love The L Word... and even though I don't have Showtime, I always catch it on DVD when the season's over cause that's my shit. Even though I don't see lesbian life the way I live it everyday and it's different doesn't mean it's bad.

But I definitely wouldn't complain if they came out with a more... Afro-American centric lesbian show... like Noah's Arc for lesbians... I'll be the first one in line to watch it!

That's my tirade of the night.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Is this bitch for real???

Shit like this makes me ashamed to be black [sometimes] because I swear that [some] black people are SOOO homophobic and SOOOO closed minded and they don't give a fuck that they are. Is this Sherri woman serious? "You can wear dresses when you're 18 and out of my house"?? Yet she says two seconds later that if her son was gay she would love him but certain "activities" would not be happening in her house and went on to compare it to a woman and a man not being married and her feeling the same way about that.

Well, hunnay (yes, "AY"... pronounced "hunn-aaaye") last time I checked, most states don't allow homosexuals to marry. Does that mean that your son and his "activities" will never be accepted in "your house?" Really and truly, who wants to fuck with their parents in the next room, but the classification of coining his relationship with his partner as "activities" (because I'm sure loving gazes, hand holding, kissing, and hugging fall under her broad umbrella and are certainly prohibited) really rubs me the wrong way.

Now I can see why the LGBTQ community has such a high rate of suicide among younger kids: they have nobody at home to understand them. Seriously, watching that sickened me and I want to call her and give her a piece of my mind.

This really just makes me dislike the black community (and really society at large) for marginalizing homosexuals. Guess what, we're here, we're QUEER, SO GET USED TO IT, BITCHES!!!

Ugh!!!

And for the record, if my son wanted to wear a dress, I'll let him. I don't want to mute my child's self-awareness. It's such an annoying double standard that girls who like to play with boys toys and wear pants and no dresses are harmlessly called "tomboys" but it's such an issue when a little boy wants to play with a kitchen set and wear a princess dress. There are so many bigger things in the world for people to be worrying about than if their son wants to play with GI Joe or a Bratz doll. Come on, [Black] America... get the fuck over yourselves.

Dear Abby... CRAZY WOMAN STYLE

Dear Kathy CRAZY LADY,

My girlfriend has exes and friends that are interested in her sexually. They text and call her constantly and she doesn't think there is anything wrong with it. She tells me when they call and what they want, but I still have this uneasy feeling because I know they have different motives for just hanging around. She's open and honest with me as far as I know. But it's gotten to the point where if she and I are together and she turns her cell off, they show up at her job. She does inform me of it but to me its very disrespectful.

She's the type of person that just allows people to do what they do. She doesn't like to say no or be mean. She told me she has no backbone. And I don't want to seem mean or jealous and say well I don't want you in contact with any of these people because she calls them her friends.

She says she gets along better with butches than femmes. They are all butch and so am I. She is femme. She feels as if I should be in control and she should follow my lead. But I don't want to seem unreasonable and or just jealous. I asked her if I was to say I didn't want her in contact with any of these friends and ex's would she end all contact and she said yes. I didn't tell her to do that but I would have loved to do it. Am I in the wrong?

Jealous Joan

Now Joan... are you serious? If you allow her to, this woman will run all over you and not think twice. As an adult woman, she knows exactly what is appropriate and what isn't. Getting texts, calls, visits, etc from anyone who is sexually attracted to you is NOT APPROPRIATE. You need to get the backbone to tell her that you do not want her talking or associating with these people because like she said, she does not. Yes, in a perfect world, she would do it on her own but... it's not a perfect world and sometimes we have to do these things. You are not being jealous or stupid but you have to look out for yourself and trust only goes so far when one partner in the relationship is being stupid.

Now I'm not one to say that "femmes can't be friends with butches/studs" and vice versa but there comes a point when a line needs to be drawn. If your partner feels uncomfortable with a certain situation, then you need to adjust it so that she is comfortable. Especially if it is dealing with another person that could possibly be a threat to the relationship.

The best way to handle it is to talk about it. Express how you feel, find out how she feels, and adjust accordingly.